How I view love

So today while I was in the car heading to Philly I had a very interesting conversation with my 13 year little cousin. She asked me what I thought love was because there was a boy she liked. I say like because when she said love I laughed. Let me just say that she's known him  for a week so you don't think I'm insensitive. I digress, the point is when she asked me, I really thought about it. Then I remember I had actually wrote a blog about it a while ago. So I pulled up the site and let her read. This is what it said:

What is love? That question is probably the most difficult ever to answer. Because love can’t be described in just one or two sentences. It’s a complicated emotion that builds within us like and intricate puzzle. I honestly don’t think a lot of people know what love truly means. It’s not just butterflies and smiles. It irritates me when I see people claim to love someone and quickly run away at the first sign of a problem. Sometimes people confuse deep emotions and infatuation with love and that’s actually very common. But let me just explain what I view love to be. Don’t quote me because this is only my personal opinion:

I believe love has to build. I’m not saying that it takes a while, I’m simply saying it has to build. I honestly don’t believe there is a timeline when it comes to it. You have to get to know the person, learn their traits, their flaws, what makes them smile, what scares them, Their likes and their dislikes, etc. When you learn about them all their stories somehow become part of you. Like you’ve adopted a piece of them into yourself.  I’m not sure if that makes sense to you, but it does to me.  Their past isn’t something that bothers you, only because it’s simply the past. It made the person standing before you. You learn to just accept it and in some cases be grateful for it. Had they not gone through what they did, they might not be the same person they are today. You tend to find all of their insecurities endearing. The flaws they find in themselves are beautiful to you.

 Now here’s where I think people get it messed up. Love is a completely selfless emotion. It is not just about you. Because now there is someone who’s happiness mean more to you than your own. You’ll do anything to see that person smile because their smile is the thing that makes your days worth having. I don’t think it makes you whipped or a weak person to be everything for the person you love. It’s simply called being committed. And until you meet that one person who makes you feel that way, you can’t really understand. I mentioned earlier that love wasn’t just butterflies and smiles. I think it’s a huge misconception that love just comes easily, and you’re supposed to be happy all times of the day. I’m sorry to burst your bubble, but that’s not how it works. You have to work in a relationship. You do in fact have to fight. Relationships are hard, But you have to know it’s worth it in order for it to work.

 Love does in fact make you an idiot. And if you deny it you’re LYING! You start to forgive things that you would never tolerate in a million years. Somehow it’s not as important to you anymore. You get jealous of the littlest things whether you’d like to admit it or not. Sometimes you say stupid things that you don’t mean. You’ll make slick little comments because you know it’ll get them mad.  It sounds childish, but we’re all guilty of it. It is what it is lol.

   But here’s how i really know when I love someone.  At the end of the day when all is said and done, there is no other person in the world I’d rather face anything with. Somehow with them by my side I’m a better version of myself. I want to be someone they can be proud of so I’ll somehow pull this determination out of me that I didn’t know existed. I’d risk almost anything for them and I’d rather fight with them than make love with anyone else. I let my walls down for them and allow them to see me for who I am. I trust them, because there is no love without trust. But most of all, and it’s probably the stupidest reason though the most valid. If I’m willing to take you back with full forgiveness and new trust in my heart (no matter what bullshit was behind us), I truly do love you.

Now Like I said don’t quote me, this was only my personal opinion. But love is a heavy emotion, and it doesn’t just happen all the time. When you have it, cherish it. There are others out there who would kill to have it.

The expression on her face when she finished reading was priceless. All she said was " Yep I'm too lazy for that". I laughed and simply told her she wouldn't always be.