....

Every once in awhile, do something you’re afraid of doing. Do something you’ve never done before.

I’ve never believed in the phrase “you or he or she deserve(s) better". My best friend told me 4 years ago, when she was going through a breakup, that there is not one single human being who is worth more or less than anybody else, so that if you believe someone “deserves better", you “go be better". You voluntarily “get better" until you fit in that particular dumb Theory Of The Most Overly Used Typical Three Word Long Phrase.

Sadly, it isn’t I Love You.

I’ve never believed in letting go if the love is still there. The 12 year old in me who childishly wrote on her mirror with her mother’s old Rose Red lipstick “I want forever love" and saw, surprisingly, that one day she had written in response beneath it “there is no such thing (except that of a mother and her child)" never wanted to believe it. But mothers always seem to have an innate instinct on having this weird all-knowing knowledge especially for her baby. She is the same person, the first but not only person, to tell me that love isn’t enough. I think I wrote, a few years back, that I understood it when I got older. Well, to reiterate— I understand it, now.

I’ve always wanted to believe in the almost lame quote “you know you really love someone when you just want them to be happy, even if their happiness excludes you". It almost ties back to the whole you-deserve-better idea.

So when someone tells you to do something that frightens you, something that seems so foreign and falls off the range of your comfort— it doesn’t always have to be conquering your fear of heights and plunging off a plane into the sky. It can be subtle. It’s probably a lot harder to do than sky-diving.

I’ve never let go of something so worthy without a long exhausting fight. But I’m beginning to think— who do I think I am? Whatever goes, let go.