Moment of clarity

     In these darkest hours of my life I tend to reflect upon my past. My decisions, my defining moments, pointless ones, my lessons, my losses,  my thoughts, my friendships, my relationships, those bonds that you can’t quite put a name to, Everything.  Sometimes I spend hours lying in bed at night just lost inside my own thoughts.  Replaying all my moments as if there were all on a film reel inside my head continuously rolling. I don’t know why I do this, and honestly I wish I wouldn't  Dwelling on the past robs me of sleep and let’s face it, dark circles flatter no one.  But I digress. You see my thoughts have taken a new route lately. One much brighter and seemingly more optimistic than I had experienced in the past.  I realized something that should have hit me a long time ago. Knowledge that I’d always spouted but never really took into consideration myself. Life is what you make it. Plain and simple and it hit me like a ton of bricks.

      Everyone has a path, and that path will never be one straight walk. There will always be bumps and sometime mountains you may need to climb, but how you approach them all depends on you. The way I see it, you have two options. You go with the flow or you go against the grain. I had been going against the grain for a very long time. Always finding it hard to let go or accept things. Revaluating everything I no longer had control over. And what for? So that I can justify some sense of loneliness or loss that I had been feeling at that moment? Why? Why do we as human beings find it so hard to simply just let go? To accept the past and keep moving forward. Essentially just going with the flow as we should. Instead of letting our failures, losses, pasts, and what have you hinder us we could learn and grow from them instead.  Realizing this little nugget of wisdom was like a taking a weight off of my chest. I felt like I could breathe again.

     In the end I realized a few more things. Life is short and you’re never guaranteed tomorrow. Not everything will go as you plan. People are always going to come and go. In the end, nothing is ever really perfect but you can accept and handle it perfectly. This life is going to be a roller-coaster  You’re going to meet some great people that will leave and some horrible people you wish would. You’re going to have good times, bad times, and tons of meaningless crap in between. Whether or not you enjoy the ride is completely up to you. So what will you do?