Another one bites the dust

I think I've become emotionally retarded. I've just had my 3rd failed attempt at a relationship and quite honestly I don't know why I waste my time anymore. Not only mine, but any mans time at all. I should be sad that it didn't work out again. I should be hurt that I was considered a waste of time and told to walk away. I should feel SOMETHING. In truth though, I really don't. I actually don't even care! That's the part that worries me. It's not like I don't like the guys that I've dated, because I genuinely did. I actually hoped to feel some kind of spark, some kind of emotion towards them. Yet I felt nothing. In fact the only feeling I ever truly felt was annoyed. Things I tend to find endearing in someone would annoy me to no end. Traits that I admire in people suddenly made me irritated. I wasn't excited or overjoyed to hear from them. I just couldn't make myself care. If I liked them, why wasn't I eager to talk or spend time with any of them? Why isn't my heart in it when I truly want it to be? Most importantly, why does it feel as if I'm doing something wrong by trying to move on? Maybe it's a bit dramatic for me to say this, but I feel ruined. As if I'm a broken woman.  I had every intention in trying to make it work out every time. I sincerely wanted to try and be happy every time. My heart just wasn't in it. I almost felt relieved when each one ended. Why can't I just move on? Why can't I be happy with someone else? Is there something wrong with me? I apologize, I realize I'm pretty scattered with this post, I just felt like venting. Well later guys! 

-JNR