As the rain falls

I'm listening as the rain hits my window pane. I feel the thunder more than actually hearing it. Yet the only comfort I feel tonight comes from the tattered stuffed penguin in my arms. It's funny how thing's that once brought you peace are now the things that bring tears. I can't explain it. It's not just one memory but instead a whole collage of them that's brought this on. Different points in time, different people, different kinds of pain. I feel as if the rain reflects all the tears I've shed while the thunder echos my heart as it breaks. Yet I simply hug this plush toy to my chest and I feel a sense of calm come over me. Every breath I take, I catch the lingering smell of Cologne. Funny, months later and it's still there. Still I don't feel sad about it. It's almost as if it locked itself away there. Knowing I'd need some sense of security When all else failed. My last bit of comfort. Oh but I miss the rain. Maybe one day the sound of it will sooth me as it once did. For now I have penguin. My Shawn.